The Peeta And Gale Wars
by WritingFromTheSoul
Summary: When Abby and Ziva get into an argument about who's better, Gale or Peeta, and successfully drag the guys into it, an all-out war ensues. Who will win? Team Peeta? Or Team Gale? Hilarity sure to ensue!
1. Chapter 1

"Peeta!"

"Gale!"

"PEETA!"

"GALE!"

The girls were in a shouting match down in the lab. The Israeli's face was bright red, and spit flew from the Goth's mouth.

"Come on, Abby! Team Gale, you are a FALL!" Ziva growled, balling her fists.

"You even got the saying wrong! It's FAIL!" Abby shot back, raising hers.

"Whatever! All I know is that Gale is a jackass!"

Abby gasped, her hands flying to clutch her heart. "Don't you insult my hunter!"

Ziva leaned back on her hips. "You hunter?" She snorted. "He is a weakling! Peeta forever!" She cried.

All of a sudden, the elevator door opened to a open-mouthed Tony and McGee.

"What the _hell _are you two going on about?" Tony asked. "We can hear you up in the squadroom!"

Both of the red-faced girls started shouting at the same time.

"All right, all right! One at a time!" McGee pleaded. Both of the girls took a deep breath."

"We are debating over which is better: Team Gale or Team Peeta. And Team Gale is the biggest _FAIL-" _Ziva made sure to clearly enunciate the word "-I've ever seen."

"Shut up! Peeta's a _blonde!" _Abby screeched.

"All right! Ladies, ladies, we can sort this out!" Tony cried.

McGee turned to stare at him. "We can."

"Yes, we can."

"Look, Tony, who's better, Gale or _Peeta?" _Abby spat his name.

"I…uhh…" Tony looked from Abby to Ziva, who both had their arms crossed across their chest in the same furious fashion. "Sorry, Peeta wins. He's handsome and charming. Otherwise known as my clone." Tony grinned, and stood by Ziva. Ziva laughed, throwing her arms around Tony's shoulders. "See. Peeta _is _better." She declared.

Abby cried out indignantly. She turned to McGee. "Timmy, please don't tell me you're siding with them."

Timmy shrugged. "Sorry. Gale wins this one. I like him. He's extremely intelligent. Well, more than that wisp of a weakling known as _Peeta." _Him and Abby broke into laughter.

Ziva gave her a death stare. "You are a sad, sad person."

"How?"

Well, for one, you're falling for a hunk of a hunter."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Well, he's exactly that: he's a hunk of meat. And that's pretty much it." Tony pointed out.

"Yeah, well, at least he isn't all brain, no brawn."

"Like you really have any room to be talking about brain and no brawn, McGeeky." Tony giggled, sending him and Ziva into a fit of giggles.

"And _you're _one to be talking about hunks of meat with no brains." McGee said, making Abby giggle like crazy.

Ziva shot her a death glare. "Stop. We are acting like children."

Abby suddenly straightened up. "You're right. Let's settle this like adults."

"What's there to settle? Peeta is better- case closed." Tony snorted.

"Will you shut up about that twig?" Tim shot back. This sent the four into another shouting match, with every one of them arguing about their favorite character.

"Okay, you know what? This is stupid!" Tony cried out. "We are leaving." Him and Ziva marched over to the elevator. Right before the doors closed, they looked Tim and Abby in the eye.

"You better be watching your back." Ziva snarled.

"You too, David." Abby growled back. She turned to Tim. "Let's get started."

"Started what?"

"Making a plan, silly. To get back _Team Peeta." _She grinned evilly, and then pulled Tim into a huddle.

In the elevator, Ziva turned to Tony. "We need a plan."

"To what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Tony. To take out _Team Gale." _She grinned in the same evil manner as Abby. Tony laughed.

"I like your thinking, David." He smiled.

Him and Ziva huddled close, thinking of how to destroy their enemy team.

**TBC...**

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I know it's short. This is gonna be bit of a crack! fic. I wanna know what you guys think, so….REVIEW.

-Vi


	2. Chapter 2

McGee opened the elevator doors, a wide grin on his face.

Man, if only Tony could _see _what he was planning!

He walked over to his desk, and, suddenly, his wide grin was replaced by a look of pure horror.

His desk and corner of the bullpen was covered in…pictures. He examined them closely. They had a large picture of Josh Hutcherson, dirty and sitting by a river, and it read "I HEART PEETA" all over it. Hundreds of the same photo completely encased his desk, computer, and corner. He clenched his teeth, and went to work, ripping off the pictures.

Tony and Ziva peeked around the corner, falling over themselves with the effort not to burst out laughing.

"High five for Team Peeta!" Ziva whispered excitedly.

"Oh yeah!" Tony cried, high-fiving his teammate. "Come on, let's go get a coffee. I have a feeling McFangirl will be peeling off those wonderful photos for a while."

"Why?" Ziva asked. "There's only so many."

It was all Tony had to not totally implode from contained laughter.

"I used superglue."

McGee, however, looked hurt and sad as he pulled the photos off of his desk and chair. Tony's look softened.

"Aww, Zi, he looks hurt."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Not really."

"Ziva, maybe we took it a little far."

She studied McGee's features. "Yeah. Maybe we did."

"Come on. I'm gonna go apologize." Tony stood up, and turned the corner into the bullpen. McGee's feet were firmly planted on the ground as he tugged at the pictures, trying desperately to peel them off before Gibbs came back and he was totally humiliated.

Tony tapped the Probie on the back.

"Hey, McGeek-uh, McGee, I came to apologize."

McGee turned around. "It's okay Tony; you got me. I just don't want the boss man to headslap me for anything."

"I, too, am sorry, McGee. I guess we took it a little far." Ziva nodded hurriedly. McGee smiled.

"Nah, it's okay. Here, make up hug."

McGee opened his arms, indicating an embrace. Ziva hugged him. "Sorry."

"It's fine. You too, Tony." He opened his arms.

Tony shook his head. "I'm a man, McGee- I don't do hugs."

"Come on. You know you want to." He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, all right." Tony caved, taking the younger agent in a warm embrace. "Hey, we're going to get a coffee- want anything?"

"Sure." McGee reached into his back pocket. Tony waved his hand. "Don't. I got it this time." He winked. "But you owe me, Probalicious." He joked.

McGee laughed. Tony and Ziva waved as they stepped into the elevator. McGee waved back, smiling.

Once he was sure they were gone, he opened up his palms to reveal their cell phones.

He took out his own and called his teammate.

"Hey, Abs, Phase One of Operation: Gale's Conquest is complete." His grin was quite literally from ear to ear.

* * *

Ziva and Tony exited the elevators, coffees in hand. Ziva handed one to McGee, a caramel macchiato (his favorite). He happily sipped the delicious and hot coffee. "Thanks, guys!" He cried.

Ziva sat at her desk. "Aha! See, Tony! I told you: they were right here on our desks!" She cried, pointing at them.

"Oh. Hey, McGee, you messing with our cell phones?" Tony joked. McGee laughed. "Why would I do that?"

"To get even for the photo thing."

"Nah. Let bygones be bygones, that what I say." McGee sighed, typing something. It was actually an instant message to Abby.

_Call Ziva in about 20 seconds._

_DING._

_Okay._

Suddenly, Gibbs came striding in. "Whatcha got?"

"Well, this is what we have so far: the night before Petty Officer Carmichael was murdered, he had met up at a bar with-"

NOW.

McGee called Tony's number and, at the same moment, Abby had called Ziva's phone down from the lab.

Suddenly, an _extremely_ irritating voice began singing _extremely_ loudly.

_HORNY OVER MY HUN-TAH!  
Yeah, I'm HORNY FOR MY HUN-TAH!  
HIS PERFECT ABS AND SUPER STRENGTH  
GETTING HORNY FOR MY HUN-TAH_

Tony scrambled to find the noise, only to realize that it came from none other than his cell phone.

Ziva realized that it wasn't just Tony's phone- it was hers too!

Both of the federal agents, flushed and flustered, fumbled for their phones, but hadn't managed to shut it off until the irritating thing had played about three times through.

The whole bullpen was silent. McGee was choking on his contained laughter.

"DiNozzo! David!" Gibbs suddenly snapped. The two agents gulped.

"Yes, boss?" They both asked.

"Would either of you like to explain what in the hell that just was?" He asked, deadly quiet.

"Umm...not really." Tony mumbled.

"Here's a little advice: vibrate." Gibbs growled, walking away. "And if I hear it again, Ziva and Tony, I will take your phones and shove it up your-"

Suddenly, his phone rang. "Yeah? Oh, hey Abs….Be right down." He shut his phone, and hurried to the elevator.

Tony and Ziva stood there, shocked. Then, they both slowly turned around. They both wore the same, deadly expression. McGee's smile quickly turned to into an expression of fear.

"Hey, McGee, would you happen to anything about what that was all about?" Tony asked casually.

McGee wondered which death would be more painful- death by Tony or Ziva.

"Uhhh…ummm…n-not that I c-could s-say." His stutter was returning.

"Really? And if I asked Abby, she would say the same?" Ziva raised an eyebrow. He had a look on that McGee had once seen before, when he was a boy scout. He once had to interact with a poisonous viper. Her look would probably send the viper slithering away.

He nodded hastily. "Yeah."

"You sure."

He gulped. "Positive."

"We're watching you, McTrouble." Tony gave a cold stare to the Probie before turning away.

"Ziva, I was wrong."

She cocked her head. "About what?"

"We didn't take things a little too far." He grinned evilly. "In fact, we're just getting started."

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**Well, what do you think? Please, guys, love me. Review me."**

**-Vi**


	3. Chapter 3

**The following chapter is insane. People, do not try this at work. I know this wouldn't actually happen, but it's just a little imagination of mine. Don't hate or flame because you know that it is so high on the impossible scale.**

* * *

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Tony asked as he parked the car. He yawned. "Besides, it's freaking _four _in the morning!"

"Come on, Tony. When I was child, I was lucky to get five hours of sleep." She said, totally alert and awake. "Did you bring it?"

"Of course I brought it."

"What about the rope?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then, give to me, ya idiot!"

"Cool it, Zi. I haven't even had my coffee!"

When they were finished, they left in Tony's car, driving away just as a familiar black hearse came driving up.

"Of _course _we had to take your car, Abby, that _totally _isn't obvious!"

"Shut up, Tim! Anyways, did you bring it?"

"Of course I brought it."

"And the rope?"

"Backseat. All eighty feet of it." He sighed, tired.

"Great. Let's do this."

When they were finished, they quietly got back in the car and drove away, just as the sun broke the horizon.

* * *

Gibbs pulled up in his usual parking spot, when he saw the three members of his team and Abby standing in the parking lot.

_Oh, god, _he thought to himself. _What have they done this time?_

He parked his car, and stepped out, approaching his agents.

"DiNozzo! David! McGee! Abby!" He called. They all turned around.

"Hey, boss." Tony smiled.

"What the hell have you done this time, DiNozzo?"

DiNozzo smiled his patented smile. "Nothing, boss. Just proving Team Peeta is on top."

"Shut up!" Tim cried.

"Well, he is. Better than Team Fail." He shrugged.

"Team Gale to you, Team, uh-" McGee turned to Abby "What's a derogatory word that rhymes with Peeta?"

"For the love of god, what the _hell _have you done?" Gibbs asked, exasperated. However, his four agents and forensic scientists were too busy arguing to say anything.

Finally DiNozzo threw his arms up, and shouted "That's it! Ziva!"

She took a black remote out of her bag, and handed it to Tony.

"Let's prove that Team Peeta is top dog."

He pressed a button on the remote.

Suddenly, there was whoosh, and the sound of something large being unfolded. Gibbs looked up, in awe.

On the side of the building, a large sign had a picture of a shirtless Josh Hutcherson, along with the Title "Team Peeta Forever!" A smaller picture at the bottom had a picture of Liam Hemsworth, with a large red cross over it.

"Two can play at this!" Abby shouted. "Tim!"

He handed her a similar looking remote. She pressed a large red button, and the same sounds emerged out of nowhere. They looked up again. On the other half of the building, another large sign hung. It had a picture of a smiling Liam Hemsworth, and, in bold, black letters said "Team Gale Rules!" And, again, at the bottom, there was a picture of Josh Hutcherson, with a large cross over it.

Gibbs stared in shock at the posters that covered the top half of the building.

_Oh. My. God._

He turned slowly to his team.

"Did you do this?" he asked. His voice was deadly quiet.

They all nodded.

"Well, I guess we know who will be cleaning it up, then."

He started to walk away, then turn back, staring at his team, who squirmed.

"By the way, you are _all_ on Team Finnick."

FIN.

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**Well, what you thinking, hmm? I know it was short, but my life is a crazy spiral going up right now, and I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it, so sorry for the late and sporadic updates!**

**Love you all, and please review!**

**-Vi**


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